postcards

by Seamus Patterson

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released January 28, 2017

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Seamus Patterson Toronto, Ontario

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Track Name: stephanie to sleepyhead (from a letter left in the metamorphoses)
a part of me is sure
nothing can go wrong
the other part is,
much bigger and it
isn't sure at all
in fact it
thinks the sky is falling
isn't it?

a beautiful world when you're not
quite awake
and laying next to someone
warm in the brace of his arms
and he kisses great
running the length of his spine
with your fingers and
bury your face in his chest whispering
i think the sky is falling, is it?

a part of me is sure
nothing can go wrong
the other part is
much bigger and it
thinks the sky is falling
isn't it?

last night i had a dream you and i
were laying awake at sunrise
and as daylight appeared through the blinds
i asked you what was on your mind
a hurricane, a hurricane, you replied
a hurricane is on its way and it will
flatten everything in sight
and i asked, can't we drive away
but you said no
and you told me there'd be no survivors and that
love doesn't make it either

so we just laid half awake
Track Name: part one: love doesn't make it either
i thought that i told you, didn't i?
couldn't you see it in my eyes?
can't you hear what I'm singing on the inside?

can't you tell that i love you?

no i never told you but how could i?
it's not hard to recognize
just listen closely when it's quiet

cant you tell that i love you?
cause i can't tell you

it's almost ten years now that i've been singing that song
and i'd sing it for a thousand more if you could hear it once

it's on my mind whenever i'm with you
i've tried to fight it but there's nothing i can do

can't you tell that i love you?
cause i can't tell you

it's almost ten years now that i've been singing that song
and i'd sing it for a thousand more if you could hear it once
Track Name: jumps and plunges
i need something beautiful
i need a new lease on life
i feel a little too permanent
and uninspired
we should go to niagara falls it's
just an hours drive
and i went there when i was sixteen and
had a pretty good time

its just the way birds flock around the falls
and the way the mist rips apart the sun
and the men who've died and who've walked high-wire
why we build casinos around the falls
when you're so close to god
you can't help but wanna risk your life

i need something wonderful
to make me think about stuff
i really think that i could be someone if
i knew who that was
and i only suggest niagara falls cause
it's just an hours drive
and i went there when i was sixteen and
had a pretty good time

and we'll walk around the edge of the falls
and we'll talk about how loud they are
and we'll think about the first people who saw them
they must have thought they were pretty awesome

its just the way birds flock around the falls
and the way the mist rips apart the sun
and the men who've died and who've walked high-wire
why we build casinos around the falls
when you're so close to god
you can't help but wanna risk your life
Track Name: tough love
you know you treat me to well
you try and tell me that the pain isn't real
and that it's all in my head
now how is that supposed to change that way that i feel

stop calling me love
you're only making me pity myself, i need
tough love, or nothing at all
i need to get roughed up
when i'm down in the dumps

i can't get out of my head
what i really need is a kick to the head
something that'll wake me up
cause lately i've been a real stick in the mud

stop calling me love
you're only making me pity myself, i need
tough love, or nothing at all
i need to get roughed up
Track Name: what took you so long
i'll get to the bottom of this
like you found me out
you see me now
what took you so long
and what I've done
and who i've been
and my actions
do you see me now?

i just thought that i could pretend
for awhile i did
well i played a part
what took you so long
i was sick of being myself
so i wasn't
i was someone else
but you see me now

i just wished that i could forget
who I've been
and what i am
but you see me now
and what I've done
my familiar wrongs
you found me out
what took you so long
Track Name: giants
i've been tilting at windmills passing
i talk a lot about grief and giving in but
i do different, at least i want
to be thankful, for what i've got

when i'm
helpless, hopeless
i can forget about how
my dearest friends save me from
helplessness, hopelessness
my dearest friends save me from, raise me up

i couldn't believe my luck
when i finally looked out, saw so much love
and that it's so simple makes it so tough
will the rest of my life be making up for it

when i'm
helpless, hopeless
i can't forget about how
my dearest friends save me from
helplessness, hopelessness
my dearest friends save me from, raise me up
Track Name: goldenrod/summer on
goldenrod covers the field next to the parking lot

already june where has the time gone?
i'm twenty-two this month, oh my god

every august the field is used for a carnival

and when i was eight i rode the Zipper three times
and on the rope latter i won the biggest prize
fourteen years ago, where has the time gone?

goldenrod covers the fields on the route back from ottawa

i'd just turned twenty and on the long drive
i heard Benji for the first time played it three times

and in toronto, i was given a copy of Coke Machine Glow

and every word felt so familiar
and Summer On was my favourite poem
and i know summer's on when i see fields filled with golden rod

----

i was born in the summer
raised for the water
"be still don't fight the water"
it gets hard to remember, still harder to forget though
"be strong be light", your words not mine

i'm twenty-two now and i
can't believe what i've done to my life
shallow and sulky, when i'm in the city/god i hate this city
cause if i ever was anyone, i'm sure they're off in the goldenrod
far from this city, far from/off remembering/memories

and if i ever was anyone, i'm not sure now who that ever was
but if i'm caught up remembering, your words come back to me

"be still don't fight the water"
Track Name: tomorrow the moon
it's been ages hasn't it been
well i heard about your dad passing
and i wanted to say that i'm sorry
and that i hope that you're okay,
or as good as you could be

a lot has changed since we were thirteen
when our dads lived on the same street
so we were neighbours every other week
since we were six years old,
you're like a brother to me

and either i can't forget or keep remembering
working for your dad raking leaves
and your sister was mad bout something, they were shouting
we were out front making piles of leaves to jump in

i think we made a couple bucks that day
and i'm sure we spent it all on five cent candy
and stayed up late that night watching movies
or playing hide and seek in the alleys off our street

i can't imagine how hard it's been
i heard you moved home to take care of him
i guess when someone you love is sinking
you've gotta learn to be buoyant

a lot has changed since we were thirteen
and in all this carrying on our hearts get heavy
but if you ever feel like you are sinking
i can learn to be buoyant if you need somewhere to lean
Track Name: weathering the storm
weathering the storm like i made it happen
like the sky is shouting down at me "you made this happen"
and getting bullied by the wind, pushing me around
the rain is saying everything words could never have

it's no use to keep hurting yourself
there's nothing the wind and rain won't tear down
but grief is tearing you down
leave it to the wind and rain, nothing in this world is making it out